I don’t want to forget a thing. I don’t want to lose a detail. I love him so much.
Other than Janine, I can’t name a friend I have held so close for so long.
Other than Janine, I can’t name a friend I have held so close for so long.
Fall/Winter 2009 – stiffer back legs, spending more time outside, less likely to get up and move
May 2010 – regular vet visit, says Gypsie in good health, rear leg degeneration due to spinal nerve issues, monitor, keep comfortable, month by month, aspirin may help
Summer – needs help occasionally up stairs, less likely to come when calls, plays with Vaggy occasionally
Aug 27 – Gypsie starts to limp on front leg
Aug 28 – limp worsens, have to carry in and out of house at end of day
Aug 29 – we decide
Aug 30 – Gypsie goes for a swim, gets an ice cream and cheeseburger lunch, and finally goes to vet at 3
Sept 13 – Ashes returned via fedex
Sept 16 – Everything seems rushed, I think of him every day, miss him waiting for me, miss saying hello, still have a few missteps, calling for him. It all seems to have happened so quick, I almost feel like I missed saying goodbye.
Oct 8 – less intense, still sad when I think of him, miss some parts a lot. Surpised when I haven’t thought of him for a while. Girls mention him more than Janine or I, Wish I’d spent more time with him over the summer. I actually miss trying to get him to move out of the way, and his silly “smile” when begging at the table
Paws – cleaning off snow, praying, chewing ice between toes
Breathing – always there at night
- So quiet as he stopped, missed right away
-
Soft fur on his muzzle
Silky fur on his ears
Dance - up on back legs
Tail – plume!
- thumping against wall when he wagged
- not seeming to know it was attached
- chasing it
Swimming
“Catch me” – here’s the ball, can’t have it….
The stare
Play with me bark
Galloping
Teddy Bear – removed the stuffing
Running
Chasing smells
Terrible sense of smell
Watching birds, squirrels
Felt light to carry up the stairs for the past month, but soo heavy when carry into vet the last time
Laughing, smiling
TV – Chasing, Watching, jumping at when I laughed
Trilling bark, like he was whistling
Happy spots
Snoring
Dreaming
Sad eyes
Goofy looks
Frisky with Vaggy, Bear
Playing with Spunky
Walks
Can do anything attitude
Garbage
Jumping
Frisbee
“Meat”, “Gypsie Doodle”
Not showing pain – nails, cuts, shots, giving blood
Bump on head
Caring for Janine, paw on lap when she got upset
His missing junk
All the licking
Reluctant Kisses
Chasing rocks in the water
Pawing at stuff below the water surface
Seemed to be a puppy for sooo long
Would only “go” on grass or walk
Nudging your hand to pet him, reminding you to not stop
Everyone calling him “She”
Fur between his paws
Kids hugging him
Bark
Freckle on tongue
Trying to catch hands under the blanket
Training
Swimming
Wrestling with Vaggy
Trying to navigate with a cone
“Chewing” on water from a hose or sprinkler
Getting into places that he shouldn’t be able to, down the stairs, on the table, in the garbage, in the pantry
The white patch on his chest, soft
White hair between his toes
Slippers
Walking himself on Broadway
Slipping on ice
Falling through the ice in the wading pool at Vimy park
Daisy, his girlfriend
Floppy lips
Sneezing
Peanut butter and things stuck in his teeth
Spider bite
Haircuts
Teenage Mohawk
Stealing a chicken
Getting into the pantry
Tolerant to a fault
Hating people in uniforms
Looking longingly at the treats
Tolerating snuggles
Catching his tongue
Treats on the nose
Sitting on my lap on the Jusk chair
Sleeping in bed with his pack
He kept training us… learned to stand at the door, to get us up, then look at the treat; never really wanted to go out.
Sleeping on the deck in the quiet, spent soo much of the last year outside
Not really liking baths, and hair all over
Liking to shake after a batch or swim
Rolling in the dirt to scratch
Chasing passing cars while riding in the car
Cruising in the back seat to pick up Janine from work – relaxed against the back door, panting
Watching
Fearless
Songs
Who wants to Live Forever?
The Dance
I Wish You Well
Don't want to close my eyes
Quotes (in that made up voice)
“Hi guys… whatcha doin?”
“Hey… where is my junk”
“Come here Bear”
“I've seen things you people wouldn't believe. ….
All those moments will be lost in time, like tears in the rain…”
Feelings
Loss – always there, spent soo much time with him, always happy to see us,
Lonely -
Memories, nostalgia
Regret – missed soo much time with him in the last 5 years, I got lazy & complacent
Sad – hoping he had a good life, hoping that there is something for him beyond, hoping that we did not betray him
Happy to have been in his life, he added so much.
The end
I let him walk most of the way to the wagon, but had to carry him the last few feet. I laid him gently in the back on a towel and drove him to the vet with Janine. I went in to check in while Janine sat with him in the car. I carried him into the room, where a tech met us. I placed him on an elevated exam table; it had a sheet so that he did not slip, he hated those tables, but didn’t even squirm. He lay quietly while the tech took some info and then the Dr came in. He explained the 2 step process, then left to get the drugs. We had about 10 minutes more with our Old Man. We petted and stroked him and cried a lot. The Dr came back in and administered a sedative to calm him and prepare him. And we had another 10 minutes while they waited for it to take effect. I moved to the head of the table as Gypsie relaxed and held his head, looked in his eyes and stroked his ears. I wanted to be sure that he knew his family was there and that he wasn’t alone. I wanted him to know that I was there. I always felt like he was my buddy, my friend, someone who would protect me and that I would protect, without question. I owed him. He hardly moved and did not try to get up. He didn’t even react to the needle stick. He kept his eyes open and responded when we talked to him and touched him. The Dr returned and I indicated that we were ready. All I could do was nod. The Dr shaved an area on Gypsie’s back leg and gave a large dose of sedative and told us it wouldn’t take long. Nothing seemed to change, and after about 10 minutes the Dr suggested that he may have missed the vein, and tried another dose. I think Gypsie was just that strong. He jumped a bit at this second dose, then his breathing slowed; he closed his eyes, snored a couple of times, and then just didn’t breathe anymore. His eyes drooped open a bit. We used to call him Devil Dog when he napped, since we could see the bright pink from inside of his eyelids. We cried some more, I closed his eyes, Janine kissed his muzzle and we said goodbye one last time. The whiskers on his muzzle twitched a bit… like he just didn’t want to go. He looked small, almost deflated as I closed the door. Janine went outside, while I paid the bill. We sat and talked and cried in the parking lot for a while, then went and picked up the girls from Michelle’s. And missed him.
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